A psychologist's friendly reminder of the little things we can do to be okay in difficult times - ABC Everyday
There’s been a lot recently, hasn’t it?
Another COVID-19 spike, a terrible flu season, floods in New South Wales, monkeypox, the ongoing war in Ukraine, the overthrow of Roe v Wade in the United States, soaring cost of living.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and closed off, you’re not alone. I’ve spent the last few weeks lying on the couch unconscious after work, wreaking havoc. I feel anxious, apathetic, lonely and sad.
I had hoped it would be a good year with more certainty, but in the middle of the year I found myself in a space that was just as restless as the last two years, but with less expectations and more cognitive fatigue to boot.
When things get so tough and we start to realize that maybe the world as we know it has shifted, we have to give ourselves time to adjust to the new realities and build the skills we need to adapt.
Meanwhile, it’s very easy to forget the little things we need to do to be okay, or to remember why we do these things.
Here are some simple things you can do to manage life in these difficult times, and why these small steps are so important.
Keep moving your body
Exercise is a powerful mood lifter because it releases endorphins. It can also help create social connections (think group class) and get us off our couches and phones.
Being outdoors during the day can also increase your vitamin D intake during winter, when we are often exposed to less natural light.
Exercise can seem like riding a bicycle or going for a walk with friends.
Take your lunch break (or even the whole day)
Rest for your brain is essential, whether it’s in the form of a 30-minute walk and chat between tasks, or a planned day off.
If you give yourself a whole day, use it well. Be mindful of your breaks and create a guilt-free zone.
eat rainbow
Focusing on eating well and eating enough are important ways to take care of ourselves. Wherever you can, eat from the five main food groups. Food can also be an excellent social link — whether that’s planning a meal with friends or catching up on coffee.
Turn off the news
Having a designated time or day when you don’t check for an ongoing disaster is important. Your brain needs a break from being bombarded, and some time with lesser stimulation.
Take a break from your phone and throw yourself in a book
Running away is very important, but mindless scrolling as a way of calming ourselves down often makes us feel a lot worse. Reading a book can be a great way to find pleasure while entering a state of concentration and flow.
Look deep for happiness
Whenever I feel sad, I seek joy and lean into it. It’s not a toxic positive, but it helps me remember the little things that make me happy.
Our bodies have a hard time holding back two emotions at the same time, so we can often fight sadness by finding a smile. When I really need a ride, I look deep into the eyes (and teeth) of my goofy rescue greyhound.
Find some touches
Touch is an important way to release oxytocin, which helps us reduce anxiety and stress. Hug a friend, order a massage, make time for sex — all of these will help.
Donate
Feeling like we can effect some changes in our lives (psychologists call this self-efficacy) is an important way to reduce hopelessness. Donate to a cause you care about, recycle, consider volunteering — all these steps will contribute to change, and make you feel more hopeful.
Connect
Finally — humans really weren’t made alone. In times of stress we can withdraw and isolate but we need connections to help us manage anxiety and stress.
Talk to friends, check with others to see how they are, book therapy sessions if you can access them.
Dr Ahona Guha, DPsych, is a clinical and forensic psychologist in Melbourne, Australia. He writes on various psychology topics in Psychology Today. You can find it on Instagram.
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